(no subject)
nyxpiper
jeeze. this sucks. no really.

(no subject)
nyxpiper

I can't believe this is happening please don't die

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Tags:

happy
nyxpiper
soooo today was a pretty good day. i mean. it could definitely been worse. i worked really hard to study for my anat exam today and i am pretty sure i nailed it shut <3
then i upgraded my phone to an iphone
then, in the mall, on my way out of victorias secret w/ julia, the clerk said "you ladies have a good night" i wasnt even wearing super femme clothes, i am sooo happy. im still glowing <333

the only minus side is me finding out i failed my anth exam. but im not letting it get to me. as long as i pass my final well i can still fix that exam.

(no subject)
nyxpiper
so, for a few moments at work, i turned my distress into eustress and i felt... normal. something in me relaxed. it was pleasant... but it takes concentration. i started helping people again and it disappeared. but i know its there, just a little switch for me to hold up and breathe, i can see, i can hear everything more, everything is more vibrant. i AM. then its gone. but its ok that its gone, because it is gone. i dont care because i cant feel. have i been depressed this whole time and am just now coming out of it? or am i getting endorphins from the high amount of stress at work and school? i dont know...

i think my professor hates me
nyxpiper
i have been to every class except the snow day one but he is saying that his records show me not being there since some time in january, why would he do that? i dont understand. i actively participate in class... what the hell is going on? is he going senile or did i upset him somehow?
he is saying i missed an exam... i dont know what to do...

my first dragons
nyxpiper
Adopt one today!
Adopt one today!
Adopt one today!
Adopt one today!

i have decided
nyxpiper
dont want to be upset anymore. i am not going to let myself be dramatic or sad or pitiful or anything like that. i am going to be a functioning adult and nothing can stop me

(no subject)
nyxpiper
i kind of want a new account because you have access to this one... but you would just look on my computer and find the new one

hi its been a while, triggering for anyone visiting.
nyxpiper
so i hate life, no im not suicidal, i feel like i am losing my grip on reality. i am told things happen differently from what i remember. pain is good again, but i am bad. ive been cutting every time i walk into a bathroom. ive been throwing myself into work and school, its not enough, at work i am ridiculously inept compered to everyone else, in school i have low c's. ironically last semester i made the deans list.


today i sharpened the tip of my knife on the grout in the wall of a public bathroom. i feel dirty

i had "normal" sex
nyxpiper
trigger cutCollapse )

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